Christmas Musings, Part II

I have definitely climbed to new heights of absurdity. Yesterday we spent like 17 hours wrapping presents for Mr. Aidan. Now mind you, the kid is barely going to be a month old at the time of their "opening", and he can't play with any of them yet. Somehow, I feel cheated by the universe. Isn't "Baby's first Christmas" the money shot for Hallmark writes everywhere? Isn't this like the Fourth of July, the Treaty of Versailles, and buy-one get-one at Dunkin' Donuts all rolled into one (don't ask, I'm hopped up on mocha syrup right now)? Well, how come my kid had to be born so close to it? Screw this, we're movin' this bad boy to like June this year. And hey, bonus-- you get ANOTHER CHRISTMAS a mere six months later. Who's with me? So whatever, he can't play with his stuff. That doesn't mean we don't follow the protocol of Christmas everywhere. First, Mom tried to weasel out of scratching off prices on the presents. Uh-uh, cheater. I made her, despite much rolling of eyes and threats of chastity. Also, I made sure about half the presents were from Santa Clause (mental note to self, don't let Aidan read this until he's about 18) and that there was at least one from the cats. Lastly, when he woke up in the middle of our wrapping Olympics (yeah, laugh...you try wrapping a f#$king plush duck that has various bits of cardboard attached around it) I made sure that his already wrapped presents were out of site, and that the ones yet to be wrapped were safely stowed in their Toys 'R Us bags. I know, I know... hey, you gotta start this stuff while they're young so that they have subconscious expectations of the best Christmas ever that you can never, ever again live up to, and so that there can be lots of tears and crying followed by lots of accusations and drinking. Heh. I mean, uh, holiday cheer and shit. Pass the *hic* Christmas pudding!