Argh.
Well, today marked my return to the workplace. It really....hmmm. It was....what's the word I'm looking for? It definitly...how do you say...sucked. First of all, even on a good, pre-baby day I don't want to be at work. Ever. Ever, ever, ever, frickin...ever. It's made a thousand times worse by the fact that I want to spend as much time as possible with my little heir apparent. Add to that the fact that he picked last night of all nights to stop sleeping really really well, and you get one miserable wage slave. My only consolation is that upper management pushed the panic button today in anticipation of a snow storm, and is letting us out early. Also, I mosty likely won't be coming in tommorow due to said storm. So I get another day of time with el kiddo... and I'm off Friday, which is good.
Anyway, about the baby... last night he got his first bath. He took it pretty well, honstly. Although I have to admit, the whole time he had a very confused look on his face. He was too shocked to cry or anything, and kinda tired, so I think we got lucky. We also dodged a bullet in another respect-- he didn't befoul the water with anything (which apparently is pretty common for babies to do, owing to the baby tub's womb-like atmosphere).
One other thing to mention-- you read everywhere that you have to be really careful with young babies and baths, because they're slippery. To me, that advice fell under the "No crap" category, and I promptly pushed it to the back of my mind with the other inconsequential drivel I keep on hand for a raindy day. Well folks, they're not kidding...babies, it seems don't actually have skin. Their outter layer is a coating of a near-frictionless uber-teflonlike substance. Modern science has yet to find out it's molecular composition, but this stuff is so slick it even bends light around itself. You want to be scared, try picking up a lubed infant and putting him in a towel. You touch the kid and suddenly you become uttery unable to hold ANYTHING. Also, you get the uncontrolable urge to fall down in order to minimize the impact you will cause by dropping said kid.
And the best part? You get to do it over and over and over. I'm trying to convince Mom that everyone would be better off with hand-sanitizer rubdowns, but so far, no dice.
Anyway, about the baby... last night he got his first bath. He took it pretty well, honstly. Although I have to admit, the whole time he had a very confused look on his face. He was too shocked to cry or anything, and kinda tired, so I think we got lucky. We also dodged a bullet in another respect-- he didn't befoul the water with anything (which apparently is pretty common for babies to do, owing to the baby tub's womb-like atmosphere).
One other thing to mention-- you read everywhere that you have to be really careful with young babies and baths, because they're slippery. To me, that advice fell under the "No crap" category, and I promptly pushed it to the back of my mind with the other inconsequential drivel I keep on hand for a raindy day. Well folks, they're not kidding...babies, it seems don't actually have skin. Their outter layer is a coating of a near-frictionless uber-teflonlike substance. Modern science has yet to find out it's molecular composition, but this stuff is so slick it even bends light around itself. You want to be scared, try picking up a lubed infant and putting him in a towel. You touch the kid and suddenly you become uttery unable to hold ANYTHING. Also, you get the uncontrolable urge to fall down in order to minimize the impact you will cause by dropping said kid.
And the best part? You get to do it over and over and over. I'm trying to convince Mom that everyone would be better off with hand-sanitizer rubdowns, but so far, no dice.
posted by Clueless Dad | 2:46 PM
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