I'm sensing a trend here...
Looking back on my time keeping this blog (a whopping 8 posts, WOW), it occurs to me that a fair amount of these posts involve poop. Somehow, somewhere, pretty much every one after Aidan was born involves poop. So, in an effort to not be repetative, I will try really, REALLY hard not to mention poop. Again.
Poop.
Dammit. Oh well, screw it. It seems like all new parents can talk about is baby poop. Go find a new parent, and check it out. I think part of that is because in the hospital they instill an understanding of exactly how important it is that you pay attention to your little angels' heavnly bowels (to ensure they're getting enough food in this critical developmental time-- I swear, everytime I see a dirty diaper the Hallelujiah choir has a musical orgasm in my head)....and part of it, well, part of it is just our sick fascination with how bodies work. To new parents, babies are the like the best science experiment ever. You threw some of your genetic material together with some of your mate's, and unlike that time in 7th grade when you put pure sodium in water and were thrown out of school pending an FBI invesigation result, this didn't blow up! In fact, it made a minature you, a tiny rapid-action food processor. Since babies are so much smaller, everything happens faster to them.... they eat, and as if by magic, 2 hours later they're making Hershey's kisses. Plus, during the time they're MAKING the aforementioned Hershey's kisses, they are unabashedly expressive about it. There's no putting on a pleasant face for polite society bull here.. feels good? They smile. This one kinda hurts? Grimace. Working hard to get that last bit out? Furrowed brow, held breath, face turns red. The best though, my absolute FAVORITE, is when they're taken unaware by a stealth poo. The expression of pure surprise is absolutely hilarious. Of course, I probably won't find this nearly so funny when my child is laughing at my exploded Depends while visiting my in the home 40 years from now.
Let's talk about something else then, ok?
posted by Clueless Dad | 4:46 PM
2 Comments:
Shanester and Mrs. M-
So you two done anything other than observe the poo-maker? I think its interesting as a single man that has no children - none that can be proven - that pooh is the biggest fascination. But what the heck do I know about kids? I've only babysat once in my life. I am in fact the least qualified person to ever have custody of a newborn. Geez, you think they're going to perform a background check on me at the hospital?
You can't really do much other than observe, A. Nonymous. He has no motor control and the only trick he knows right now is "stay". Pooping is pretty much the only interactive thing he does, other than feeing (which, lacking breasts which squirt, I haven't done).
And come ON, I promise you I am WAY less qualified to care for a newborn. The first thing I'm teaching him is how to stick his tongue out, and that's only because he doesn't have the motor control to light a fuse yet.
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