Hey! Ho! Let's...

....wait. Waiting SUCKS. I am sick of waiting for my son to pop out and say hi... every day is the day before Christmas for me, and I WANT MY PRESENT. Tommorow is the "official" due date....which is really kind of absurd, in the same way lugging out the chains on fourth down is. No one has been paying much attention to where the ball is, at least not down to the inch, so it's insane to think that because the first 1.9 cm of the football is over the line, the team obviously earned every millimeter of it.

Due-date calculations work kinda the same way. "What day did your last period start?" Uhhhhhh....Febtobuary eleventy?

So tonight I think I'm going to make the wife walk with me, in hopes of shaking something loose. Failing that, I'm going to scream insults at her stomach to try to get him p.o.'d enough to jump. Failing THAT, I'm going to drink heavily so that the universe brings him while I'm WAY too smashed to drive. My life kinda works that way, so I'm optimistic.