My Little Princess

So MJ is a smart cookie. Not just "oh, look at my little darling, she's so smart" parents gush when they see little precious about to short out the entire power grid with a well-placed fork in an electrical socket, but genuinely smart. Lets lay out some facts, shall we?

She is 1.33 yrs old.

She already will dance in rhythm, and in fact knows that my father's cell phone holds the thing which makes her happiest in life-- the Penn State fight song. She usually won't let him get 10 feet into the house without clawing for it.

She knows all her major AND minor body parts... you know, knees, elbows, clavicle, ossicles, etc.

She's a clear speaker, and although she can't make all her sounds yet it is very apparent to anyone who hears her what, exactly, she wants. Example: she saw my tattoos the other day, and asked, "Dat?" I told her, and she immediately responded "Tat too!" while pointing at all 3 of them. She also clearly enunciates when she wants something Aidan has, yelling "Let slip the dogs of war!" or something similar. One time I caught her muttering about dirty Mongols.

She can easily follow and understand anything we tell her, including "Please throw this away" and "not in the nuts again, please". She will also tell US what she wants; she's quite fond of saying "di-di" and grabbing herself a new diaper and associated wiping equipment. Although she's a little confused and calls her jay-jay her pee-pee. I blame her mother for that one. Gotta tell ya, it's pretty cool to have a kid this young willingly throwing her own diapers away.

She's quite capable of defending herself, and will often enact pre-emptive strikes if Big Bro even looks at a toy that he wants to play with. As of today, I've seen her: pinch him, hit him, tackle him, and hip-check him. Also, I think she's constructing some nefarious mega-weapon out of used binkies as they seem to be disappearing at an alarming rate.

She understands when it's time to leave that it is polite to tell everyone "bye-bye" which she does by waving her hand and saying "Bye!" This happens if she even hears someone say something alluding to leaving; my parents were here a week or so ago and my father said, "Well it's about time for us to get back down to the house" at which point she looked up, waved, and went back to playing.

She has keen object permanence, which makes life a little hard because you can't just hide things on her... she's like a friggin' bloodhound, and will make a beeline for whatever you hid even if she didn't see you do it. Along with this is good focus for what she wants-- one day we were out of bananas and she wouldn't stop screaming "nanas!!!" until we went to the store to get them. I offered her everything I could think of, including whiskey and some jellied toast. No dice.

In short, she's a much more assertive toddler than Aidan was-- I have a sneaking suspicion that this one's gonna be a tad trickier to manage. Oops, gotta go...she's stacked her blocks up and is heading out the door with my car keys and wallet.

I Think I Hear Aunt Jamima Crying.....

Quick story this week......Maia's been sick, mostly at night, so I'm getting little to no sleep and thus am afraid am not at the top of my comedic game right now. But this one writes itself, and is most DEFINITELY a story I will be telling the first scruffy-faced potential daughter deflower-er that gets within shooting distance of the house.

So Aidan has been trying really, really hard to big a big kid; he's excited that he's three and a half, because that's almost 4....and in his words, when he's 4, he'll be a "dery dery dery big kid." He's putting himself to sleep at night after stories, which is great because it used to take half an hour of laying with him to get him out. He can get himself dressed (when the mood strikes, anyway-- most days it's still like trying to wrestle a Speedo onto a greased up badger cranked on PCP), he can fasten his own belt, and he'll even go to the potty by himself if it's a #1. Which, as he informed me, he calls "peeps." Good thing I hate those stupid marshmallow Easter chicks anyway, because ewwww.

The other day as breakfast was winding down, when Mom was at work and I was playing ref in the UFC octagon I call "my living room", Aidan announced he had to go peeps. So he charged off the the kids bathroom, and Maia toddled after him, still gripping her waffle and burbling cutely. Nothing interesting happened; Maia came giggling out of the bathroom first, and ran to me, dropping her waffle on the entryway floor as she came. Aidan flushed, and then dropped the first bomb.

"Dad! Maia stuck her fingers in the peeps!"

I have to say, I was rather impressed with myself. Like a highly trained martial artist, I sidestepped Maia, scooped her up from behind, and took her to wash her hands. I let her go, and on the way back stopped to pick up the waffle. I had JUST touched it when, simultaneously, I heard from behind me:

"Dad! Maia put her waffle in the peeps too."

It was soggy. And cold. Did I mention soggy? You know you've made it as a father when you see something like this, just kind of sigh and hang your head, and pick it up barehanded anyway...while trying to keep it intact so as to ascertain whether or not your little princess has taken a bite of her pee-soaked waffle. Good times, good times.

The Secret is Kinda Out

So yeah....I know some (if not most) of you reading this already know, but I finally found something I'm apparently really good at-- makin' babies. A third little one is on the way, and I couldn't be happier. Aidan is really excited about it; when we briefly had an apartment (before our new house was finished) he shared a bedroom with Maia, and he's anxious to do that again. He really loves his little sis, which is nice because it allows me to do things around the house without fear of him testing whether or not her head makes an adequate doorstop, or if toddlers perform as impressively as Slinkies when pushed down a flight of stairs. Maia, for her part, figures if her brother is excited she should be too, and reacted accordingly when we told them the big news.

My parents have been notified as well, and while I'm sure they're happy, I can tell they are a tad worried about the logistics and finances associated with a third one. And probably how often we're going to dump all three kids on them. But I'm sure they'll adapt-- after all, everyone tells me that the jump from 2 to 3 isn't as big a deal as going from 1 to 2. I can definitely see that, especially since Aidan is big enough to really help out with things now. As for the in-laws-- well, they're in Africa right now, so they'll find out when they get back. Possibly by reading this very entry...you never know.

So no cute stories this week, but I promise that you'll have plenty in the near future. Especially since Maia just strung her first 2 word phrase together, and it was "No, mama." I think she's gonna be a handful.