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I had a baby. Well, not me, my wife. And then we did it again, but decided to change genders just for fun. And now? Well...apparently, we're doing it all over again.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Where does the time go?

Wow, I had no idea I had been slacking for so long on this blog. Sorry to all the faithful readers out there-- life's been kinda crazy lately, trying to get our house in shape for sale, getting the specs for the new one ready (and all that entails...roads, wells, septic systems, electric companies... So. Much. FUN!), blah blah blah. End result: I am being proactive in neglecting Maia, since I'm sure when she's older she'll read all this and see how I only post once a month or so about her as opposed to the every weekly posts I did with Aidan. I am paying forward the emotional damage, baby. You can thank me later.

Truthfully, from this point forward I'll probably have much more to say. Because honestly (and I know most of the people who read this have multiple kids), all babies kinda do the same things for the first few months. Eat, poop, puke, snore. That's about it. The biggest differences at this point are:
  • Maia is a girl, so she lacks the necessary equipment to firehose me. However, this also means that she can stealth-pee while I'm changing her, leaving a nice puddle under her that I fail to notice until I have already put the new diaper on, and laid her down back in it. Good trick.
  • Maia looks like me; Aidan looked (and still does) like his Mom. The result of this is that when she looks at me seriously, I feel a little bit like I'm watching a tiny version of me judge myself on many, many levels. It's simultaneously cute and disconcerting, a fact that I'm sure will get waaaaaaay more uncomfortable when she gets long hair and boobs.
Now that it's been a few months, Maia is beginning to develop her own personality. I didn't think it was possible, but she seems even HAPPIER than Aidan was at her age. She's smiling those big gummy smiles, and cooing, and occasionally she makes herself chortle when she rips a big one. She always gives me a big smile when I get her at daycare (which is awesome because it wins HUGE points from the hot mommies who are picking their kids up at the same ti....uh, never mind), and she seems generally amused when I play with her. Although disturbingly, she thinks it is hilarious when I make her kick me in the face....and we all know how Aidan STILL kicks the crap out of me, so maybe I should rethink that game for my testicles' sake.

Speaking of Aidan, he's now at the age where he is starting to extrapolate information he has been given about the world to apply universally-- for example, he informed me the other day that both Lightening McQueen and Mater (from Cars) have penises. Then he yelled loudly, "Mommy! Mommy, you don't have a penis. Mommy, Maia don't have a penis either!" Oh, to be a fly on the wall at his daycare. Speaking of penises, remember George the bunny? Yeah, turns out George has a vah-jay-jay. Because George made a warren in our back yard, and had 4 or 5 babies there. I am not even going to TRY explaining that to Aidan, because he knows that babies come out of mommies....and I know that sooner or later, we'll be at Target and he'll see a picture of a rabbit. And then his fertile little mind will remember George, and babies, and he will verbally (and probably at an incredible volume) proclaim: "Daddy! George had babies from his penis!"

One other Aidan-ism of note: The other day he dropped one of his toys on the floor.... and he looked at me and went " Wah wah waaaaaaaaaaah", like the sound they used to play on gameshows when contestants lost. Awesome. I am definitely the best father EVER-- I can only hope that he does that to other kids at daycare.