Dem Shifty Baby-Stealin' Eyes

This week was great...Aidan is finally getting use to my taking care of him. Tuesday he didn't have any problems at all until 5, when I think he began to wonder if, in fact, the milk godess was ever to return. When she did, he was already sleeping soundly on my lap though, so we go through it fine. Wednesday was similar, although he began to get fussy earlier...I chalk this up to a slightly upset tummy; due in no small part ot my excellent parenting skills and keen eye for detail, I noticed he was spitting up more than normal. CSI, eat your heart out.

Ok, so what does the title refer to, then? Well....we went to the mall, just he and I, on Tuesday so I could pick up some developmental toy for him (o.k., fine, I got us a copy of Doom and Doom 2 for the Xbox, but anyone who knows me knows that this game played a cruacial role in my development). I thought to myself, as we were walking in.."Everyone is going to look at him and think he's an angel, and they're going to look at me and see a caring father taking a workday off to be with his child, a father who also happens to be attractive, at which point they will throw thier panties at me" That's not entirely true though-- I thought the first part, I may have uttered the last part aloud.

Anyway, once we got in-- let's just say I might as well have been a Roman soldier peeing in Jesus' face and pouring a lemon juice maranade on his wounds while riding on top of the cross he was carrying . Every single woman there with kids or of/past child-bearing age looked at me as thought they'd love nothing more than to drop me with a taser and call mall security. I felt really uncomfortable under the withering gazes of the Uterine Masses....they seemed to think that any dad out with a child in the mall on a weekday was obvioulsly up to no good, and in fact had probably stolen the child to sell into the baby Ultimate Fighting Championship circuit. Of course, as these things often do, this made me feel worse and I began avoiding gazes....yeah, not the best way to avoid looking like a baby rancher. So I ducked into what I thought was the only safe haven around-- Hot Topics Rock. Er, I mean The Children's Place. Heh. Yeaaaaah, I didn't try to buy him a "Bullet for my Valentine" onesy or anything first.

So there I am in The Children's Place store, and finally, FINALLY there was calm. The sales clerks were very nice, and I did manage to catch a few sets of panties with my tee....that's not important. So to end our trip, I was looking for a nice spring jacket for Aidan, as he's growing fast and we have nothing mid-weight that will fit him yet. I found a cool little denim jacket that he gurgled at, but I decided it wasn't going to be warm enough, even with the "Sepultura--'As We Rot' World Tour" t-shirt scrap I had planned to safety-pin to the back. So I looked and looked, and I found something of the appropriate warmth. Unfortunatly, it was stripes of almost neon light blue and navy blue fleece, and I though he'd look kind of like a gay Disco prison inmate in it. Before you all ridicule me for my non-PC ness, I don't think there is anything wrong with that (well, actually, I'm not too keen on the inmate part) and to prove it I showed it to him and asked him if he liked it (as much as a 3 month old can like anything that isn't a boob)-- with full intent to get it for him if he wanted.

In response, he furrowed his brows, popped out his lower lip, and unleashed Thunderass (which is like thundersnow, but sticker and more cheese-smelling and not as white and it's really nothing like thundersnow but I think that's such a ridiculous concept I had to work it in) into his waiting diaper. Then he sighed and looked away from the jacket, at me, and smiled.

I love my son.